More Than She Seems
by The Blue Raven
Summary: When Mel falls sick, it leads her and Cole to make some interesting discoveries about Mel's grandmother. And about Mel herself. AU. Turns out that there's much more to Mel than meets the eye. ScifiDramaRomance. Spoilers for Love Cirronian Style.
1. Fever

More Than She Seems 

By: Blue

Summary: When Mel falls sick, it leads her and Cole to make some interesting discoveries about Mel's grandmother. And about Mel herself. (Very AU, based on an insomniac's musings. Turns out that there's much more to Mel than meets the eye.)

Rating: PG-13 for shippy happenings

Disclaimer: I don't own them, but, hey, just as soon as that deal with Zin goes through...

Feedback: Yes, please. Feed me, feed me!!! More feedback equals more stories…

**Chapter 1 -- Fever**

Cole had been in hospitals before, of course, but it had never occurred to him that he might be visiting Mel in one. Yet here he was. Returning from Tracking one of his fugitives, he had been confronted at the Watchfire by a nearly frantic Jess. She had informed him that Mel had been in the hospital for three days now, suffering from a high fever that the doctors could not bring down. Cole had gone directly to the hospital, not even pausing long enough to deposit his fugitive's life-force in the storage-unit. 

As he approached Mel's room, he saw two doctors leaving. Obviously they had just been visiting Mel. One shook his head and muttered something to a young female. Curious, Cole followed them, listening to their conversation.

"I don't know what to make of it either, Ray..." the young woman said, shaking her head. 

A third doctor joined them. "Discussing the Porter case?" he asked.

They nodded. The doctor who had been called Ray shook his head as his pager went off. He glanced at it and cursed quietly. "I've got to run. Janet, bring Bart up to speed, will you?"

"Okay, Ray." She nodded.

"So, any change?" Bart asked her.

She shook her head. "Temperature's down negligibly, but the truth is that, even so, she should be in a coma. At the very least."

"What're her symptoms?"

"She has none!" Janet muttered in disgust. "No, I take that back. She's, um... irritable."

"That's it?" Bart frowned. "Temp of 105 and she's _irritable_?"

Janet nodded. "Though technically she claims that it's from being in the hospital for three days."

"So she's completely coherent?"

Janet nodded. "I've never seen anything like it, Barty. The word that comes to mind is 'mystifying'. She should be dead already."

"Hell, she shouldn't even _have_ this fever from what I've heard."

Janet nodded. "There's nothing we can find to cause it. It's just... there."

"What's the neurologist say?"

"Just scratched his head. And the endocrinologist. The hematologist thought that her electrolytes are slightly out of whack, but puts it off to the fact that she's not eating."

"She's not eating? That could be indicative of..."

"Okay, let me rephrase that. She's not eating _hospital food_. She's having her friends smuggle in chocolate and fast food, so it's not that she doesn't have an appetite..."

Bart sighed. "What does that leave?"

"It leaves nothing, Barty." She lowered her voice. "This woman is _not_ sick."

"No? She _just_ has a fever of 105?"

She nodded. "Yes, as screwed up as it sounds."

"_Something_ is wrong with her."

"Yeah, and on that, your guess is as good as mine, but that does not change the fact that she is virtually a-symptomatic." Janet sighed in frustration. "She's feeling better than I am right now, Barty."

"So what do we do with her? Send her to the Cleveland Clinic?"

"Send her home..." Janet told him, her voice brimming with disapproval. "She wants to go home. She says that she's sick of the hospital." Janet shook her head. "Discharge paperwork's already in the pipeline."

"She knows she's going home to die?"

"She says better here than the hospital. Besides I don't think she believes she _is_ dying. Did I mention that she's a-symptomatic?"

Bart shook his head, annoyed. "If she's so healthy, why did she check herself in? I mean, she was obviously sick enough to go to the doctor, so she must have _some_ symptoms..."

Janet shook her head. "She was getting her yearly insurance physical. They took her temperature and it was 107."

He frowned, surprised. "And we're positive that it's nothing contagious?"

She nodded. "Yup, we're sure."

"So we send her home to die?"

Janet nodded, frowning. "It _is_ her choice." Her pager went off. "Damn, that's me. Lunch?"

Cole retreated into the shadows as the doctors passed, frowning curiously. It sounded as though the doctors had no idea what was wrong with Mel. Well, if they did not, maybe _he_ could find something, he decided as he started for her room. The thought was a comforting one. 

Cole was surprised to find Mel dressed and sitting up in her bed reading a book. She did not look sick to Cole. In fact, she looked wonderful.

Mel put the book down on the bed and looked up. "Cole!" She jumped out of the bed and closed the distance to Cole, wrapping her arms around him. "I've been so worried! Where have you been? Why didn't you call?"

Cole returned the hug, glad to see her looking so well. "Lost my phone, Mel. Sorry."

Mel laughed and shook her head. "Okay. Remind me to teach you how to call me collect."

He nodded. "Yes, Mel." He pulled away enough to walk her back to the bed. "You don't look sick, Mel. Jess said you were very sick..."

She shrugged. "Running a high fever. I _feel _fine, but I'm having trouble convincing the doctors of that fact." She allowed him to help her back into the bed. "Sit, sit. How did it go? Did you get her?"

Cole nodded. "Yes, Mel. I'm sorry it took so long. If I had known..."

"It's okay, Cole." Mel smiled reassuringly. "It's just good to have you back. I've been so worried."

"I'm sorry, Mel." Cole bowed his head contritely.

"We've established that." Mel grinned. "It's just really good to see you again." She rested her hand lightly on his chest, stroking her fingers lightly along his collarbone.

Cole smiled and mimicked the gesture. "It's good to see you again, too, Mel." His smile faded abruptly, and his hand stilled. He pressed it flat against her chest, regarding her searchingly.

Mel frowned, startled. "What's wrong, Cole?"

"You're different, Mel..." he began uncertainly. Her life-force had long been a source of interest to him. It was so much more pure and vibrant than that of most humans. He had studied it closely when Mel was not paying attention, memorizing every detail of it, and now there was no denying that something was subtly different about it.

"Different how?" Mel asked, a little frightened by his behavior. "Is something wrong..."

He shook his head slowly. The change, while surprising, was not an entirely unappealing one. "No, not wrong. Just different." His voice was slow, thoughtful.

"Different _how_? Cole, you're scaring me..."

"Your life-force is different, Mel. Stronger. More... alive. More..." More what? He could not define the main change that seemed to have occurred, but he knew that he liked it, even if he had no idea why. He shook his head in confusion. "It shouldn't be like this if you're sick, Mel..." He looked up at her, dropping his hand. "Are you _sure_ you're sick?"

She nodded slowly. "Yeah. The doctors say I'm sick. I mean, with the fever I _must_ be."

"You said you don't _feel_ sick..." he pointed out. There was no way. Her life-force was too strong.

"Well, I _don't_, Cole. But I am."

"If you don't feel sick, how do you know you are?"

"Because I'm running a fever of 105."

"Is that high?" Cole asked.

Mel nodded. She took a deep breath, reluctant to tell him what she knew she had to. "Cole, the doctors say I may not make it. They can't get the temperature down and if it goes up any more..."

Cole stared at her uncomprehendingly. "But you don't look or feel sick!" he protested, thoroughly confused.

"I know, Cole." She nodded. "I know. But I _am_. The fever is killing me. I've already got symptoms that tell the doctors that I don't have long."

He frowned slowly as what Mel said sank in. "What kind of symptoms?"

"Um, my vision's funny. Kind of washed-out and faded. And... I've been having these mood-swings. The doctors say that the fever is affecting my brain and that's why these things are happening to me."

Cole nodded, absorbing this. He was crying. "Can I help?"

She shook her head. "I don't think so. You can heal injuries, but can you heal illness?"

"I can _try_..." he offered.

"Cole..." Mel interrupted gently. "Can you heal illness?"

He shook his head. "No, Mel. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, Cole. My grandmother always used to tell me that things happen for a reason. I have to accept that."

"Are you afraid, Mel?" he asked quietly. He knew he would have been.

She shook her head. "I should be, but I'm not. I feel good, Cole."

He shook his head in confusion. "How can you feel good if you're dying?"

"Don't know, Cole." She moved the book from the bed to her nightstand.

"Your grandmother's diary, Mel?" he asked, recognizing it.

She nodded. "I was hoping maybe I could find more in here about the triangle." Or, at least, that had been the reason why she had started to read it. The thought of leaving Cole alone and without help was a heartbreaking one to her, so she had hoped to be able to find _some_ new piece of information to help him.

"Have you?"

She shook her head, sighing. "No. Nothing."

"Then why are you still reading it?"

"She's talking about my grandfather." Mel smiled and rested her hand on top of the book. "She must have loved him very much. Listen to this..." She picked up the journal and leafed through it. "She says that when he came to her... 'He came to me like a bolt from above. He brought light to my darkness and warmth to the most bitter of Chicago's winter nights'." She shook her head. "God, 'light to my darkness'. Can you imagine loving someone enough to write something like that about them?"

Cole nodded and smiled gently at her. "Yes, Mel, I can." He ducked his head, oddly embarrassed by the admission.

She bowed her head, wincing at having inadvertently brought up his wife. "Sorry, Cole."

"Why, Mel?" he asked blankly.

She sighed. "Never mind."

"Okay." He shrugged. "Did you know her well, Mel?" Cole asked. "You seem to admire her very much..."

Mel nodded. "Well, I _do_ admire her a lot. And I _thought_ I knew her, but the more of this I read, and the more I find out, the less sure I am that I knew her at all."

"That troubles you?" he guessed.

She nodded. "A little, yeah. I sometimes feel like Jess knew her better than I did."

"But you share her blood, Mel. How can anyone know her better than that?"

"Large doses of tequila..." Mel muttered, remembering Jess' stories about 'tequila Tuesdays' and games of Truth or Dare with her grandmother. She smiled at Cole. "It's... not important, Cole. Just, looking back, I feel like we didn't have enough time together. She died before I could get to know the real her."

"The real her, Mel?" Cole asked. He had heard this term from humans a lot, but its meaning eluded him.

"The one who ran a speakeasy and hung out with aliens and could have told us exactly what's up with that stupid metal triangle." Mel sighed. "She died before I could get to know the person on the inside." She looked up at Cole with a sigh. "I would have liked to know you better, too." She smiled sadly at him. Why was it that the hardest part of this whole experience was the knowledge that she was never going to see him again?

"Mel..." he began uncertainly, not liking her resigned tone or the finality of the statement.

"Shh..." Mel brushed her fingers over his lips, silencing him. "Cole, we need to talk about what you're going to do once I'm gone."

Cole's mouth had gone dry, for some reason, so he swallowed before speaking. "You aren't going anywhere, Mel."

"Cole, I might die. You have to accept that."

"No." He shook his head. "You aren't dying, Mel. Your life-force is too strong."

"Okay, then let's call this a 'what-if'. What if I got hit by a car tomorrow? We can't both assume that things are always going to be like they are now. If something happens to me, you'll need help, a safe base of operation..."

"Mel..." Cole protested, shaking his head. He refused to accept that she was dying. Her life-force was too strong. Something was wrong with her, certainly, but he could not believe that she was dying.

"Just listen, Cole. I had a lawyer in here yesterday, drew up my will. Do you know what that is?"

He shook his head.

"It's a legal document describing how I want my property divided after I'm gone. Who gets what. Jess gets the bar, but you get the upstairs. You'll be able to keep working from there."

"Thank you, Mel..." he began uncertainly.

"Listen, Cole. Having a place to work from isn't enough. You need a confidant. A human who knows your secrets. Just in case."

"That's what you're for, Mel."

She would have been irritated if his continued denials had not been so damned child-like and endearing. As it was, she could not bring herself to be annoyed with him. "If I'm not around, Cole, you'll need someone else. Vic or Jess will have to be told the truth. Both, even..."

"I told Vic the truth. He doesn't believe it."

"Of course he doesn't, but he can be made to. Look, I wrote letters to both of them, explaining as best as I can. They're in the little jewelry box in my bedroom. You'll need to back it up with a demonstration, but I think they'll believe you if you do that and they have the letters." She could see that he was getting ready to argue, so she took a deep breath and continued. "These are _contingencies_, Cole. Just in case. It doesn't hurt to talk about them."

Cole nodded slowly. "Are we done talking about them, now?"

"Almost..." Mel told him gently, touching his chest. She wanted nothing more than to take him into her arms and tell him that everything was going to be okay, but rationally she knew that this was not going to be the case. It would hurt him far worse if she was not honest with him now. "Look, Vic will be harder to convince, but he's a cop and he's got connections. He can give you a lot of help once he knows the truth."

"But _will_ he, Mel? I don't think he likes me very much."

Mel sighed. It was true, but it was also the result of more than one misunderstanding. "He doesn't understand why you do the things you do. It confuses him, Cole, worries him. He's afraid that something's going to happen to me because of it. And... he's jealous of you."

"Why?"

"Because of me."

"I don't understand, Mel..."

"Do they even _have_ jealousy on Cirron?"

He shook his head thoughtfully. "Don't think so, Mel."

She sighed but grinned at him. "Figures." How to explain jealousy to someone to whom the entire concept was alien. "Um, he would like to have a different kind of relationship with me than he does, and... he sees you as a threat to that."

He frowned thoughtfully for a few moments, then nodded, starting to understand. "But why, Mel?"

"Why what?"

"Why does he consider me a threat?"

"Because you live with me and are very attractive and... he doesn't understand our relationship."

"He thinks we're... mates?" Cole asked slowly. The idea, while not entirely unappealing, was a surprising one. On Cirron, there was never any doubt as to whether two people were mates. The process of mating subtly altered the energy-signatures of the participants.

Mel grinned. Trust Cole not to beat around the bush too much. "He thinks we might be."

"And he would rather have the two of you be?"

Mel nodded. "Right."

"Why, Mel?"

She took a deep breath, amused and a little unsettled. Even thinking about these things with Cole in the room was sometimes a bad idea. Her mind had a habit of wandering into dangerous territory. "That's complicated. And not important right now."

Cole shrugged. Obviously they had stumbled onto one of those subjects that Mel was uncomfortable with for some reason. He was always very careful not to push on those, since repeated inquiries seemed to make her even more flustered. "But if you wanted that, you would be, and I wouldn't be a consideration. I don't understand, Mel."

"It's not rational, Cole." She shook her head. "It's also not important right now."

He shrugged. "Okay, Mel."

"Jess. You could tell Jess and she'd give you all the help she could, too, but knowing the truth could be dangerous and she's perfectly happy with your INS cover-story. She'd probably help you anyway, even if you didn't tell her the truth."

He nodded. "Okay, Mel. Can we stop talking about it _now_?"

Mel sighed and nodded. "Okay, Cole. That's all I had to say." She took both of his hands in hers and drew a deep breath. "The doctors say that I probably have a week or so if I stay in the hospital, and less if I go home."

"Then you should stay here."

She shook her head. "I'm not dying here, Cole. I'm going home."

He frowned faintly. "But how can the doctors help you there?"

"They can't help me _here_, Cole. It's all blood-tests that show nothing and drugs that don't work and ice-baths which just hurt and I'm getting sick of it. I want to go home, be with my friends."

He nodded slowly. "If the doctor's can't find anything, maybe I can."

"How are you going to do that, Cole?"

"I can reconfigure some of my computers to run diagnostics."

"Do you know enough about human physiology?" Mel asked, allowing herself to feel some hope. It was hard not to trust in Cole, especially when he sounded this confident about something.

"I learn very quickly, Mel. It won't take me long to find out what I need to know."

Mel nodded. At least it would keep him from worrying. "Sounds good to me."

He smiled brightly. "Once I know what's wrong with you, I can find a way to fix it."

"That would be nice."

"Are you ready to go now?" he asked her.

She shook her head. "The doctor wants to check me out one more time, then I've got to sign some papers. It won't be long, though."

"Okay, Mel." He nodded.

"So, you caught her?" she asked, hoping to take Cole's mind off of her condition for a while. "Your fugitive, I mean." She had tried to pronounce the woman's name once and ended up biting her tongue, so now she just used pronouns when referring to her.

He nodded again. "Yes, Mel."

"Tell me about it."

"She was in the body of a drug-enforcement agent named Robert Jackson. She's been diverting seized drug-money to Zin for some time now."

Mel grinned. "So this'll put a dent in his operating budget."

Cole nodded. "Hopefully, yes."

"Good. Was she hard to find?"

He nodded, then asked, "Do _all_ Federal Agents look alike, Mel?"

She laughed. "Only their clothes and their hair, Cole." She looked up at a gentle knock on the door. "I'm glad you found her. Come in!"

The door opened and a young nurse walked in. "Morning, Mel."

"Hi, Sara. This is my friend Cole."

She grinned at him. "Hey, Cole."

"Hello, Sara."

"Going home today, Mel?" Sara asked, wrapping a blood-pressure cuff around her arm.

Mel nodded. "That's the plan. I'm going stir-crazy in here."

"After three days? The poor little girl next door's been in for over three _weeks_." She finished taking Mel's blood pressure and noted it down. She flourished a thermometer at her. "Say 'ah'."

"Ah..." Mel muttered, making a face before accepting the thermometer.

Cole was looking over Sara's shoulder as she wrote. "What are you doing to Mel?"

"Getting her vitals."

Cole nodded. He remembered from the time that Jess' friend had gotten sick that human physicians placed a lot of interest in things like body temperature and heart-rate as diagnostic tools.

The thermometer beeped and she removed it from Mel's mouth. "108 this time, Mel. Sure you won't stay?"

"Positive."

Sara shrugged and noted the temperature down, before hooking a monitor to the tip of Mel's finger.

She pulled a small, flat device out of her smock. 

Mel groaned. "No more blood!" she protested.

"Doctor's orders. At least he's not ordering any more blood-gas studies."

"What are you doing to Mel now?" Cole asked as Sara produced a lance and pricked the tip of Mel's finger. He winced at the bead of blood that pooled there.

Sara spoke as she worked. "Testing her blood-sugar. Which is low, Mel." She crossed her arms over her chest. 

"Mel, you need to eat..." Cole told her firmly, echoing a lecture that she had given him shortly after his arrival after he had once become so involved in his work that he had forgotten to eat for several days. It had not been a pleasant experience. "Three or four times a day, hungry or not, Mel."

Mel rolled her eyes. "It's my job to give you these lectures, Cole."

"Skipped breakfast, didn't you?" Sara asked gently.

"Wasn't hungry."

"Mel, you need to eat."

"I'll eat when I'm hungry!" Mel snapped. She sighed. "I'm sorry, Sara. I'm just feeling edgy right now."

"Your mood would stabilize if you'd eat more regularly. Hypoglycemia leads to mood-swings."

"So does having your brain fried like an egg..." Mel muttered.

Sara sighed. "Mel, I'm telling you this for your own good. Your body, your brain, needs all the glucose it can get. Even if you don't _eat_, you don't want to deprive yourself of glucose right now."

Mel nodded. "Sorry, Sara. It's been a long couple of days."

"I can imagine." She nodded and patted Mel on the shoulder. "Doctor Marcus should be here in a few minutes, and then it'll only take another ten minutes or so to draw up your release papers."

Mel nodded. "Thank you, Sara."

"Hang tough, Mel." She smiled at them once more and then left.

There was another knock on the door. "Come in!" Mel called

A middle-aged man in a white coat walked in. "Good morning, Mel." He smiled at her and Cole. "I don't think we've met before..."

"This is Cole, Doctor Marcus. He just got back into town."

He nodded. "Ah, of course. Nice to meet you, Mister Hauser."

"Hello, Doctor Marcus. How do you know my last name?"

"Mel's been talking about you."

"Oh." Cole nodded. "Can she come home now?"

He shrugged. "Looks like your temperature's up again, Mel. Three degrees in a few hours. Are you sure you won't stay?"

She nodded firmly. "Positive, Doctor. I want to go home now."

He sighed and pulled out his stethoscope. "Okay, let's have a listen."

"May I see Mel's records, Doctor?" Cole asked.

He nodded and pressed the stethoscope to Mel's chest, holding up his finger for silence. "Deep breath, Mel. And again. Again. And once more." He nodded, satisfied. "Lungs are clear, heart's strong. Beating fairly rapidly, but that could be dehydration." He glanced down at her chart, checking her blood-pressure. "Or not." He pulled out a light and shone it into her eyes. "Vision still troubling you?"

"Well, I can _see_ okay, it's just... washed-out. Like the colors aren't as bright."

He nodded. "Well, I wouldn't get behind the wheel of a car if I were you."

Mel smiled and nodded. "Don't worry, I won't."

"Still feeling restless?"

She nodded. "Worse than before. Like I could climb the walls."

He nodded. "Headaches?"

"No. I feel _good_, except for being restless."

"Mel, you do realize how serious this is, don't you?"

She nodded. "Irreversible brain-damage and death. Yeah, I got that the first five times." Mel winced at her tone of voice. "Sorry, Doc."

He smiled understandingly. "I know, Mel. The mood swings are probably your first symptom."

She nodded. "I know. Suddenly I'm going from zero to bitch in under five seconds. I swear I'm not normally like this." She glanced at Cole. "Am I?" she asked, suddenly worried that she actually might be.

He shook his head. "Mel is always very sweet and gentle..." he assured the doctor. 

He touched Mel's throat lightly, reassuringly. Mel felt her heart flutter and was glad that she was no longer hooked up to any monitors.

"I'm sure she is. But this deterioration is likely to continue. The mood-swings are probably going to get more violent. Eventually, you're probably going to start losing your inhibitions as well. Seizures are not unlikely near the end."

"Yeah, so I hear." Mel nodded. "That it?" she asked. "I'd really like to get home now." 

She was, too. She felt good enough that it was easy to ignore anything but the practical aspects of her condition, like who was going to take care of Cole. She felt remarkably clear-headed and not at all nervous. In fact, she felt an absolutely wonderful sense of well-being, which had only increased since Cole's arrival. Maybe this was what it was to be at peace. Or maybe it was just another side-effect. She did not really care. All she wanted right now was to go home with Cole, to make her last few days with him count.

He nodded. "Ice-baths might help keep your temperature down." He glanced down at her chart, then up at Cole. "You wanted to see this?"

Cole nodded. "Can I get copies, please?"

"Are you a doctor?"

Cole shrugged noncommittally. "Curious."

"Mel, is it okay if I give him copies?"

Mel nodded. "Go for it."

"Okay. I'll have the admissions clerk bring them up with your paperwork. Best of luck to you, Mel."

"Thank you, Doctor." Mel smiled at him as he left. She looked up at Cole. "Still convinced I'm not dying?"

He nodded firmly. "Your life-force is very strong, Mel..."

"If you say so, Cole." 

Mel shrugged. Maybe he was right. Maybe he _would_ find out what was wrong for her and isolate a way to cure her. She was not going to hold her breath, but a little hope never hurt. She pushed up her left sleeve to scratch an itch but paused at the horrified look on Cole's face. Her arm was covered with bruises and needle-marks. It looked more like the arm of a junkie than it did like one of hers. 

"Mel..." Cole began softly, reaching out for her arm.

She pulled it away. It was really too sore to touch, besides which, lately it just felt unpleasant when people touched her bare skin. "It's okay, Cole. It's from the tests and the IVs. They'll fade."

"Is the other arm like that, too?" he asked sadly. Poor Mel.

"Yeah, Cole." She nodded and gave him a reassuring smile, patting his chest gently.

"Give me your arms, Mel." He extended his hands, giving her that loving, concerned smile that she loved so well.

Mel smiled and extended her left arm to him. Cole wrapped his hands around the arm at the elbow and slowly slid them downwards, bathing her skin in a warm, gentle glow as he went, and leaving it completely, flawlessly healed. Mel felt her heart fluttering in response to his gentle care. It was not just that it felt so good when he healed her with his energy. The look of care and concern in his eyes was heart-stopping. No man had _ever_ looked at her like that before.

Oh, God, she was going to miss him so badly. The thought of being without Cole, even more than the knowledge that she was dying, was a terrifying thing. Here was a man who could, with just a touch, heal her body _and_ her spirit, calm her fears and excite her body. He had healed her once before, but she had been too distracted at the time to realize what a truly amazing thing it really was. He was sharing his energy, his life-force with her, giving of himself to make her complete. She was surprised to find herself more than a little turned on by the process. Beyond that, though, there was a spiritual pull to his actions. It was, without question, the most amazing thing she had ever experienced.

As he worked, Cole closed his eyes, amazed by his own reaction to the healing. Always before, healing had been something he did because a person was hurt. With Mel, it seemed to take on a special significance. Her skin, warm and smooth beneath his hands, seemed to invite his touch, crying out for more, making him eager to do more than simply heal Mel. Touching her felt more incredibly right than anything he had yet experienced in this human body. He never wanted to release her. He deliberately slowed himself as he moved his hands to her other arm, not wanting the experience to end.

Mel smiled as Cole finished with that arm and  then slowly, almost shyly slid his hand into hers. "Thank you, Cole..." she whispered, squeezing his hand and lightly resting her other hand on his chest.

Cole caught his breath, startled by a lurching sensation in the pit of his stomach. Mouth suddenly dry, he raised his free hand tentatively to Mel's chest.

There was a knock at the door, ending the moment. "Miss Porter? I have your discharge papers here..." a woman said as she entered.

Reluctantly, Mel and Cole pulled away from each other, each wondering what it was that had just passed so powerfully between them.


	2. Hot and Bothered

**Chapter 2 -- Hot and Bothered**

"Hey, Mel!" Jess said, hurrying around the bar and approaching Mel and Cole.

Cole had one hand on her arm, but did not seem to be supporting her. Her face was slightly flush, but otherwise she looked just fine. She smiled widely, reassuringly at Jess.

"Hey... How you been holding up?" Mel asked her gently, smiling and patting her shoulder.

"Fine, fine. How are you?" Jess asked, staring at her uncertainly. She was dying, she was _supposed_ to look bad, but she actually looked wonderful, prettier than before. Her face seemed to almost glow from an internal light. Jess knew that the fever was probably causing that, but she could not get over the fact that Mel simply did not look that ill.

"I'm... fine, I guess. Restless. But I really don't feel that bad..." She smiled reassuringly at Jess.  "Hey, cheer up."

Jess nodded, not sure how Mel could be so damned cheerful under the circumstances. "Right. You want a drink or something?"

Mel shook her head. "I think I'm going to climb straight into the tub." She patted Cole lightly on the chest before pulling away from him and slowly making her way up the stairs.

Jess and Cole stared after her in confusion.

"What's with her?" Jess asked softly. "Does she even realize how serious this is?"

Cole shrugged. "She feels fine, she doesn't look sick. Maybe the doctors were wrong, Jess." 

Jess frowned. Denial. Poor Cole. "Hey, what's that?" she asked, pointing to the papers he carried in one hand.

"Mel's medical records. To see if the doctors missed anything." He looked down at the duffle-bag in his other hand. "I should put this in her room now."

Jess nodded and patted his shoulder. "Yeah. I'm going to go home and get some sleep. You call me if you need anything, Cole."

He nodded. "Yes, Jess. Thank you." He started up the stairs, leaving Jess staring after him. One second he was denying that Mel was sick, the next he was talking as though he could find what a battalion of doctors had missed. "Poor Cole..." she muttered, shaking her head sadly.

***

Mel leaned back in the bathtub and closed her eyes, enjoying the way that the warm water lapped at her chest, soothing and relaxing her tense muscles. In the candle-lit bathroom, she allowed herself to imagine Cole's big, gentle hand caressing her, mimicking the action of the water. She could almost feel the heat from his warmer-than-normal skin. She smiled and sighed deeply. Her eyes popped opened at the sound of light tapping on the door. __

_What the hell were you thinking?_ she demanded of herself. 

As a rule, she was always very careful to avoid allowing her thoughts of Cole to take such a track. She was even more careful not to dwell on them when they _did_ occur. Especially since they had gotten back from the conference, when her thoughts had started turning that way more and more often, whether she wanted them to or not.

"Um, come in..." she said softly, sinking deeper into the tub, allowing the bubbles to cover her. As the door slid open, she wiped the guilty expression from her face and replaced it with a slightly curious one.

"I brought you some ice-cream..." Cole said softly, walking into the room with a bowl of ice-cream in his hands. "I thought you might enjoy it while you took your bath."

She smiled and started to sit up, then recalled that she was naked and this was Cole. She slid farther into the tub again. "Thank you, Cole."

He nodded and offered her the bowl.

"There's a tray over there. Could you grab it?" Mel asked, taking the bowl from his hands. Cookies and cream, her favorite. She smiled at him as he carried the tray over to the tub and secured it to the edge. "Thanks." She smiled and put the bowl there, taking a small bite of ice-cream. "How are you doing?" she asked him softly.

He shrugged. "I don't know, Mel. A little worried... Mostly just confused."

"Why confused?" Mel asked gently. She took another spoonful of ice-cream and raised it to her own mouth. Changing her mind, she fed it to Cole instead. He looked like he could use it.

He looked more than a little surprised by this, but he took the ice-cream anyway, assuming that it was some human custom that he had not yet learned about. "I'm confused because... you don't seem upset, Mel."

"I'm not." She shrugged and lightly touched his chest. "No clue why, but I'm not. I don't feel sick. I feel... nice." She smiled at him and ate some more ice-cream. "Here..." She fed him a few more mouthfuls. "Cheer up, Cole." She smiled at him and sat up slightly, smiling when Cole remembered to look away. He was learning. "What am I going to do with you?" she whispered sadly.

"I don't understand, Mel." Cole stared at her uncomprehendingly, not sure what she meant.

She shook her head and took one of his hands in hers, resting it firmly against her chest, over her heart. His warm skin felt almost cool against her own, fevered flesh. It was wonderful. "Cole, I don't want you to be sad. What do I have to do to make you happy?"

"Live, Mel." It was half answer and half plea. He stared into her wonderful, amazing, beautiful eyes, lightly tracing his fingers around the hollow of her throat.

Mel's eyes drifted shut and she leaned into the touch, wondering not for the first time why the hell it felt so _good _when he touched her like that. Her mind turned to the time that she had taught him how to bathe himself, and she thought about how wonderful it would be if he would touch her as she had touched him. 

"Cole..." she groaned as the warmth from his hand spread inward, suffusing her body.

Startled, he pulled his hand away, mistaking the pleased exhalation for an unhappy one. "I'm sorry, Mel..." he said softly, rising. He should have known better than to touch her while she was not wearing clothes. He knew from past conversations that he was not even supposed to be in the same _room_ with her while she was unclothed. Touching her in such a way, knowing what it did to him when she touched him similarly, had been unforgivable.

Mel sighed, ignoring the disappointment she felt as the wonderful warmth faded. "My fault, Cole. My fault. Please, don't go."

Cole hesitated uncertainly for a moment, then knelt next to the tub again. He felt very strange. His face was burning, his heart was beating much, much harder and faster than usual, and his thinking was oddly fuzzy.

"More ice-cream?" Mel offered.

He shook his head. "I don't think I should stay, Mel. You... aren't dressed. You said..."

"I know what I've said in the past, Cole. But right now, I do _not_ want to be alone." She sighed. "When I'm alone, I'm afraid. Being with you calms me. Please stay..." She stared at him hopefully.

Cole could not have resisted that plea if he had tried.  He stared at the floor so that he would not have to look at her invitingly bare chest. Touching was still a relatively new experience for him, but it had not taken him long to learn that, just as being touched in certain ways could feel very good or not good at all, touching other things could feel either pleasant or unpleasant. Mel was one of his favorite things to touch, her skin, unlike his own, was smooth and soft and completely flawless. Touching Mel made him feel warm all over, and, always, very eager to continue touching her. He looked up again only when he had heard her slide more deeply into the water. 

She was smiling again, that gentle, reassuring look that she always gave him when he was upset. Normally the look cheered him greatly. This time, it just made his heart ache. He knew that he was crying, but he did not care. He smiled at Mel, returning her own beautiful smile and sat down on the floor next to the tub. Absently, without really knowing why, he began feeding her the ice-cream. Normally being so close to her was oddly comforting. Today, it only intensified his pain and confusion. He felt strangely empty and supposed that it was grief over the thought that she really might die.

Smiling lovingly, Mel reached up and dried his tears. She loved that he could cry. Even the normally sensitive Vic, sitting with her in the hospital as she had signed her Living Will, had been ashamed of his tears. Of course, Cole was unashamed by many things that humans would have been ashamed to do and say. Innocence left no real room for shame, Mel reflected, smiling gently at him. His innocence, more even than that amazing body, was what drew her to him. He was so different from any man she had ever dated, and all of the differences were good ones.

By now, the water was getting almost unbearably cold. She sighed. "Cole, I need to get out of the tub now."

He nodded and rose, taking the empty bowl of ice-cream and leaving the room. Mel stared after him for a few moments, sighing and wondering why she could not find a nice _human_ man like him to settle down with. Of course, with every passing day, the fact that he was Cirronian and not human seemed a little less important to  her. He was a great guy on a world where great guys were in short supply. How much could something minor, like the fact that he had been born over 100 light-years away, really matter? It was not the first time she had entertained such thoughts, but it was the first time that she failed to dismiss them immediately. Fantasy was one thing, serious speculation something else entirely...

Shaking her head, she climbed from the tub and began drying herself, wincing at the harsh texture of the towel on her skin. She ignored it and finished drying herself, her thoughts returning to Cole. Normally, just thinking about the gentle alien was enough to make her smile, but right now she was just worried about him. She had always thought of him as practical, even when he was being his normal, naive self. His refusal to accept that she might die, though, was just unrealistic.

"Unless he knows something you don't..." she muttered, pulling on a heavy knit sweater and a pair of jeans. 

It was not, after all, completely inconceivable that Cole _would_ find something that the doctors had missed. Naive and unworldly he may have been, but he was also _smart_, far smarter than any human that Mel had ever met. He was also honest, and if he said that he could find out what was wrong with her the odds were good that he could. And then there was his puzzling fixation on the strength of her life-force. She had always assumed that life-force was the alien equivalent of the human soul, but Cole acted as though it were something more, a reliable barometer of a person's health.

She would go ask him about it, she decided, and, if he was still upset, she would comfort him. She was not entirely surprised to find him in his room, sitting in front of the computer.

"Working?" she asked gently, resting her hands on his shoulders.

Cole spoke without looking up. "Studying, Mel."

Mel leaned over him for a better look at the computer screen, sliding her hands down his chest as she went. "Studying what?" she whispered in his ear.

Cole looked up at her curiously. "What are you doing, Mel?" he asked gently. 

Whatever it was that she was doing, it was making it very difficult for him to concentrate. All of his attention was diverted from the words on the computer-screen to his body, which was reacting in a strange, if not entirely unpleasant, fashion. It _was_ very odd, though. It felt a lot like anxiety: his heart beating faster, his mouth growing dry, his thoughts becoming confused. He stared at Mel questioningly, not entirely sure if he wanted the sensation to stop or not.

"Trying to see what's on the computer-screen..." she muttered, straightening quickly. What the hell had she done that for? Obviously the fever was starting to affect her brain.

"Oh..." Cole nodded absently, suddenly able to return most of his attention to the computer. He still was not entirely sure why he had reacted like that, but it seemed to be passing, so it could not have been anything to worry about. There would be time to consider his reaction and its implications later.

"What are you studying?" Mel repeated, taking a few judicious steps backwards until she had achieved a safe distance.

"Human physiology..." he told her. "So I can find out what's wrong with you."

"Learn anything yet?" Mel asked, leaning against the door-frame. She felt more than a little embarrassed by her behavior, but fortunately Cole seemed not to have noticed that she had been acting any different than usual.

"Yes..." Cole replied, not elaborating.

Mel grinned. Typical Cole. Given a yes or no question, he was likely to answer with a yes or a no. "Learn anything useful?" she asked gently, feeling a lot more hopeful. Cole was a genius, and, if anyone could find out what was wrong with her where the doctors had failed, it would be Cole.

"I'm not sure yet. It's all very basic so far."

Mel approached him and leaned over his shoulder again, careful not to touch him this time as she glanced at the screen. She understood the word 'metabolism' and nothing else in the solid block of 'basic' text that filled the screen. She lingered in that position for a few moments longer until she realized that she had stopped looking at the screen and was simply enjoying Cole's radiant heat. She straightened up again.

Cole sat rigidly still, facing forward and staring at the screen, wondering why it had suddenly become so difficult to concentrate on anything except the woman leaning over his shoulder. Mel could be distracting, but never before had she been this distracting to him. It did not help that she was radiating so much heat. It felt very nice. When she straightened, he exhaled deeply, suddenly more able to focus on the task at hand.

"Cole, tell me more about my life-force."

He turned to face her, surprised by the request. "What do you mean, Mel?"

"You said that it's different. Stronger?"

He nodded. "Yes, Mel."

"How can you tell?"

"Cirronians can sense life-forces, Mel..." he reminded her.

She nodded. "I know. But... how can you tell that mine's... um, _different_?"

Cole hesitated, wondering if the careful scrutiny he had paid to her life-force would offend her the way she became offended when men stared at her too closely. "Living with you has allowed me to become very familiar with you, with your life-force..." he began cautiously.

"Oh." Mel nodded, accepting this. Living with a person definitely allowed you to get to know them very well. She supposed that Cole's familiarity with her life-force was the same as her familiarity with his tastes and habits. "How is it different, Cole?"

"It's stronger, Mel, more alive." He rose and touched her chest. "Can't you feel it?"

Mel, who had felt something very strong when he touched her chest but doubted that that was what he meant, shook her head. "All I feel is restless, Cole."

Cole nodded, somewhat disappointed. He was certain that he was not wrong about the state of her life-force, but how could she not _feel_ it? It was so strong that he was having a hard time focusing on anything else, and she had not even noticed. Could any human, especially Mel, really be that oblivious? More likely she felt it and simply did not know what she was feeling. 

"I'll find out what's happening to you, Mel." Sick or not, something _was_ going on inside of her, and he was determined to find it.

"I know you will, Cole." She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head against his chest.

"You should get some rest, Mel..." Cole suggested gently, sliding his arms around her.

"Not tired." She nestled against his chest, closing her eyes. It was hard not to feel completely confident and content in those arms.

Cole smiled and tightened his grip on her. It felt very nice to hold her like this, satisfying somehow, and she was so wonderfully, perfectly warm. "You smell nice, Mel..." he said softly, burying his face in her hair.

"It's the bubble-bath, Cole." Ignoring the buzzing noise that was trying to infiltrate into her consciousness, she smiled up at him. "Do you like it?" she asked quietly. The buzzing in her ears became more insistent, and she realized it was the telephone. She sighed and pulled away. She did not really _want_ to get it, but she was one of those people who could not let the machine pick up a call while she was in the house. "I'd better go get that."

Cole nodded reluctantly. He had not even noticed that the phone was ringing until Mel had mentioned it. "Okay, Mel. I should get back to this..." He pointed to the computer.

Mel smiled and nodded. "I'll talk to you later." She walked to her room and picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Mel."

She smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. "Hi, Vic. I was going to call you later. What's up?"

"Jess called and said that you'd decided to come home from the hospital..."

"Yeah, Vic. I was going stir-crazy in there and they really weren't being that helpful, so I decided to come home."

"Is that wise, Mel? I mean, what if something happens?"

Mel rolled her eyes. "Vic, it's okay. It's not like I'm alone."

"Oh, so Cole's back?" Vic's voice remained cautiously neutral.

"Yeah."

"Good, Mel, because I really don't think you should be alone right now."

"I agree, Vic." Mel smiled and leaned against the headboard. _Someone_ was angling for an invitation. "I want to be with people, it's part of the reason I came home. Coming over later?" she asked. It was not, she knew, the invitation that he had probably been hoping for, but it was the best he was going to get.

"Yeah, Mel. I'm at a scene now, but as soon as I get that secured I'm coming straight over."

She grinned. "Sounds good, Vic. See you then."

"Bye, Mel. Hang in there." He sounded very tired.

"Yeah, Vic. You, too. See you later." Mel hung up the phone. "Company is good..." she muttered, rising. She had noticed since she got sick that she did not feel completely comfortable unless someone was nearby at all times. That first day in the ICU had been almost agonizingly lonely. "Company is _very_ good..."

"Mel, why do humans do that?" Cole asked. He had been returning to his room with a glass of water, but stopped and regarded her curiously.

"Do what, Cole?" Mel asked, smiling at him. That quizzical expression on his face was, for lack of a better term, adorable.

"Talk when no one is there. Why do humans do that?"

"Why do people talk to themselves?" Mel smiled and shrugged. "They just _do_ sometimes, Cole."

"But why?" Cole persisted.

Mel grinned. "Um... sometimes it's just a good way to help yourself think, and... sometimes it makes you feel less lonely."

"Do you feel lonely, Mel?" he asked gently, frowning with concern.

"Sometimes, yeah..."

"Now?" he asked, frowning uncertainly. The idea of Mel _ever_ feeling alone was almost intolerable to him. He would have hated to think that she could feel alone when he was in the house with her.

She smiled and shook her head. "Not now, no, Cole."

He  nodded, glad. "Then why were you talking to yourself?"

Mel laughed gently. "Why do you always ask so many questions?" she challenged cheerfully.

He smiled, liking this mood she was in. It was a nice change from her more subdued behavior at the hospital. "Sometimes it's the only way to learn anything, Mel."

Mel grinned. For some reason, that struck her as funny. "Fair enough, Cole."

"You're in a good mood, Mel. I like that."

"Me, too, Cole. Is there any ice-cream left?"

"Yes, Mel." He nodded and walked with her to the kitchen.

"Thank you, Cole..." Mel said softly as he placed a dish of ice-cream on the table for her. "Have you found anything yet?"

He shrugged and sat down across from her. "I can see why the doctors were confused, Mel. With your fever, you should be in a coma, but you're in perfect health." He shook his head and tapped his fingers thoughtfully on the table.

Mel covered his hand with hers. "If I'm in perfect health, then we don't have to worry, right?"

Cole shook his head and glanced down at her hand. It was so invitingly warm. "You're human, Mel. This fever can't be good for you."

She sighed. "I know, Cole." She looked up at him. "What's happening to me?" she whispered. She was not exactly afraid, but, like Cole, she was confused as to why this should be the case.

"I don't know yet, Mel. But I'm learning quickly. I'll need to reconfigure some of my computers, but once I have... I should know more by tomorrow."

She nodded and smiled, feeling suddenly very close to him. "Thanks, Cole. I appreciate everything you're doing for me."

"Well, I care about you, Mel." He gave her one of his heart-stopping smiles.

Mel smiled back. "I care about you, too, Cole."

"I'm going to make you well." He smiled at her, pleased that she had said that she cared about him. He knew it was true, but it was nice to hear. "You should eat your ice cream, Mel. You need to eat."

Mel smiled at him. The statement had been a mood-killer, but it had been cute, too. She took a spoonful of ice-cream, then watched him watching her, replacing her spoon in the bowl and giving all of her attention to him. It was hard not to got lost in those amazing eyes, so in the past she had always been careful not to stare into them for too long. This time, however, she did not care if she became lost there. There were far worse places to get lost. Cole had the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen: sweet, loving, and gentle. A perfect reflection of his beautiful personality. 

Cole was thinking much the same thing as he watched her. Humans called the eyes the windows to the soul, and, watching Mel, Cole was more than able to believe that. Her eyes were as beautiful as she was, a perfect reflection of the life-force that resided inside of her. He had not had as many opportunities as he would have liked to really get to know those eyes. Humans seemed to have a problem with prolonged eye-contact and Mel never let him look at hers for very long. This time, however, she seemed not to mind, so Cole happily accepted the opportunity. It was like something inside of her was, in some indefinable way, calling out to something in him.

"Hey, Mel, you up here?" Vic called.

They both looked up, startled. "That was quick..." Mel muttered, then glanced down at her ice-cream. Chunks of cookie floating in vanilla soup. How long had they been sitting there? "In the kitchen, Vic!" she called, frowning in confusion. 

"I should get back to work..." Cole muttered, rising. He glanced down at her melted ice-cream uncertainly, wondering how it could possibly have melted so quickly. It could not possibly have been more than a few minutes since he had taken it from the freezer for her.

Mel nodded. "Yeah. Thanks, Cole."

He nodded and left, walking past Vic. Vic stared after him, wondering why he looked so troubled. Shrugging, he walked over to Mel who was emptying her bowl into the sink.

"Hey, you." He smiled at her. "You should not be out of bed, Mel."

She turned around to look at him, a little irritated by how close he was standing. "Not tired, Vic."

"You look... good." He reached out and gently touched her cheek, but she pulled away and moved out of his reach. 

"Don't do that, Vic. Your hands are like ice."

"Sorry, Mel." He shrugged, startled. "I... won't do it again. Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

"Do I not look like I am?" Mel asked, shaking her head. "Let's go downstairs."

"Um, okay." Vic shrugged and followed, frowning uncertainly. She was acting pretty oddly. He wondered if he had disturbed something between her and Cole, but firmly reminded himself that he was no longer dating Mel, so it did not really matter. Besides, getting jealous of Cole was the fastest way he knew to push her buttons, something he did _not_ want to do today. It was more likely, he supposed, that both were just upset by Mel's condition. "How are you feeling?" he asked gently.

"Fine. Drink?"

He nodded. "Please."

"So, you were at a scene?" Mel asked as she mixed two martinis.

He nodded. "Not one you want to hear about if you just ate."

Mel winced and poured him a large drink. "Sorry to hear it, Vic."

He shrugged. "I'm a homicide cop, it's what I do." He took a long sip of his drink. "I'd be happier if I didn't have the Feds breathing down my neck."

"Oh, Vic, I'm sorry." 

She knew that Vic had a particular dislike for Agents of the FBI. He had told her more than once that they had a habit of stepping on his toes in big investigations, getting in the way of his investigation and then claiming the credit after it was over. She ran a cop bar, so she knew that Vic was not alone in his feelings, but she also knew that it was one of those things that really angered him a lot.

He shrugged, dismissing it from his mind. "Oh, it gets like this every time a serial case comes across my desk. Same old. Forget it, no big deal." He looked up at her. "I'm here because I'm worried about _you_."

"You really don't have to be..." she told him gently. "I feel fine, Vic." She saw the look on his face and remembered what an absurd statement that really was. "I know, Vic, but it's true. I feel just fine."

"Which one of us are you trying to convince?" Vic asked gently.

Mel scowled at him. "I feel _fine_, Vic. A little irritated that everyone's treating me like I'm about to break, but otherwise just fine."

"Mel, I'm just worried about you..." he began.

"Don't be. I... am... fine." She shook her head in irritation and sipped at her drink. Making a face, she dumped it.

"Too sweet?" Vic asked, knowing that Mel liked hers a lot drier than he did.

She shook her head. "Brain-freeze."

"Poor Mel." He reached out to pat her hand but she pulled it away. "Sorry, hands like ice. Right." He held up his hands in surrender. 

She sighed. "Sorry, Vic. It's just..." She shrugged helplessly. "I can't really stand being touched right now. It's almost painful..." She trailed off as it occurred to her that _Cole_ could touch her without a problem. Very odd. Must be his warm hands. "You know, it's just so cold..."

He nodded. "I understand, Mel. Look, I just want you to know that I'm here for you, okay."

She smiled and nodded. "I know that, Vic. Thank you."

He smiled and nodded. "Hey, that's what friends are for."

Mel nodded and looked up as Cole came down the stairs. "Hey, Cole."

"Mel, I'm going to be at the library for a few hours."

She nodded. "Okay, Cole. Have fun."

"Yes, Mel. Hello, Vic."

"Cole."

Cole smiled absently at him. "Mel, I'm going to go to the store, too. Do you want anything?"

"Um, we're out of ice-cream, right?" she asked.

He nodded. "Cookies and cream, Mel. I'll get more. Anything else?"

She shook her head. "I'm good, Cole."

He nodded. "Okay, Mel. See you later."

"Take it easy." Mel smiled after him.

"Cookies and cream?" Vic asked after Cole was gone. "Since when does Cole know your favorite kind of ice-cream, Mel?"

"Since we started sharing freezer space, Vic." Mel's tone of voice warned Vic not to push the issue.

Vic raised his hands over his head. "Backing down now." He grinned at her, but his smile dissolved as his cell-phone rang. "Damn..." he muttered. "I'm sorry, Mel."

Mel grinned at him. "It's okay, Vic. I understand." It was true, too. When she was not dating Vic it was a lot easier to accept the demands that his work placed on him.

He smiled apologetically and answered his phone. "Vic Bruno. Yeah." He rubbed his forehead. "Okay, I'll be right there." He hung up. "Sorry, Mel. I have to go. We think we have a suspect."

"Okay, Vic. Good luck." 

"Thanks, Mel. I'll drop by again tomorrow. Call if you need anything."

She nodded. "I shouldn't, but thanks."

Vic finished his drink and rose. "I mean it, Mel..." he called over his shoulder. "Anything."

Mel nodded quietly and poured herself a glass of scotch, this time leaving the ice out. "Alone at last..." she muttered, carrying her drink over to the jukebox and randomly hitting buttons. She wished that Cole had not left her alone. She was getting increasingly edgy, and Cole's presence was very calming, if somewhat distracting. She laughed softly, irritated for no good reason. "Damn it, Mel..." she muttered to herself. "You're falling apart here..."

She shook her head and sat down again. She suddenly felt incredibly lonely, a fact not helped by the depressing music pouring out of the jukebox. _Wherever You Will Go_. Good song when you were in a good mood, but damned depressing if you were not. She rose and walked over to the jukebox, hitting buttons at random. _Iris_ started to play.

"Is there a single song on here that _isn't_ a downer?" Mel snapped in disgust, kicking the jukebox. 

Shaking her head, she stalked up to her room and took a sleeping pill. If she were asleep, she would not have to think about how lonely she felt. It was stupid anyway, she told herself as she pulled her clothes off. She had lived alone her entire adult life and never felt lonely before. And now, because Cole was at the store, she suddenly did? She dropped face-first onto the bedspread, not bothering to change into her nightgown. Clothes felt about as pleasant as human contact right now. Pill or no pill, the only way she was going to be able to sleep was without them. 

Which sucked considering how cold she was. She rose and turned up the thermostat to the ninety-degree maximum then returned to her bed this time, sitting instead of lying. She turned off the lamp and sat in the dark, waiting for the pill to work. They had given them to her in the hospital when it became clear that she was not sleeping. She was not particularly fond of the way that they made her feel when she woke up, but she knew rationally that she needed to sleep. She had skipped her pill last night, which might have been partially responsible for her mood-swings and confusion today. She would feel better after she had rested for a few hours.

She rose again and turned on her CD player, Loreena McKennitt, whose ethereal music, for some reason, always made her think of Cole. Smiling, Mel stretched out on the bed. As she drifted off to sleep, wrapped in the warmth of the room and the airy tones of the music, her awareness was filled with dream-like memories of the Cirronian who had come to mean so much to her in such a short time.

Showing him how to mix drinks... talking and laughing and drinking in the sight of those beautiful eyes.

Teaching him to dance, feeling the warmth of his embrace. 

The warmth of the room reinforced the image of him taking her gently into his arms, and her memory shifted seamlessly to the kiss they had shared. 

She could feel the heat from his body as he stood so close to her that their clothes brushed against each other. His warm, gentle hands on the back of her head, her face, her throat. 

The look of wonder in his eyes, mirroring her own feelings.

Wishing the moment would never end. Touching him, being touched by him, feeling his heat, smelling his smell.

And those beautiful, beautiful eyes...


	3. Answers

Author's Note: Just want to really, REALLY thank Cyn Tolram, my Beta reader, for all of her great input and for catching all my stupid typos. Thanks, Cyn  *waves*

**Chapter 3 -- Answers**

When Jess let herself back into the Watchfire, the first sight that confronted her was a large pile of books on one of the tables. The pile of books shifted slightly to reveal Cole. "Hello, Jess."

"Cole, what are you doing?" she asked gently, approaching. 

"Studying, Jess."

Those were medical texts, she realized, feeling infinitely sorry for the man. He was, presumably, very smart, but she had come to realize that he was also, in many ways, very innocent. Like his total denial about the seriousness of Mel's condition and his persistence that he could find out what was wrong with her where the doctors had failed. How was she supposed to make him see reality? Was she even supposed to try, or would it be better to let him have his hope, no matter how misguided?

"Where's Mel?" she asked finally, not wanting to disappoint him.

"Sleeping, I think..." Cole muttered without looking up from the tome he was reading.

Jess sighed sadly and walked up the stairs to see if Mel needed anything. Maybe Mel could talk to Cole. Mel was sitting at her kitchen table, wrapped in a blue silk bathrobe and sipping at a mug of hot cocoa. The upstairs apartment was stiflingly hot, a fact which Mel seemed unaffected by. She looked up at Jess with a smile.

"Hey, Jess."

"Hi, Mel." Jess smiled and wiped a layer of sweat from her forehead. "Little warm up here, isn't it?"

Mel shrugged. "I'm comfortable. Cocoa?"

Jess shook her head. "No, thanks. I just thought I'd come up and see if you needed anything."

"I'm good." Mel smiled. "There's ice-cream if you want."

Jess shook her head and sat down. "Mel, we need to talk."

Mel looked up curiously. "Sure, Jess. What's up?"

"Cole. He's..." she trailed off.

"Being Cole?" Mel asked with a smile. "What'd he do this time?" She grinned curiously at Jess. "He's not walking around in his underwear again, is he?" The thought brought a slight flush of color to her cheeks and, oddly enough, made her want to giggle. 

"Mel, I'm serious..." Jess began, shaking her head and frowning slightly at her friend's reaction. "He's worried sick about you."

"He says he thinks I'm going to be just fine."

"Maybe to you, yeah. But that doesn't change the fact that he's downstairs with about twenty medical-books convinced that he's going to find what the doctors couldn't." Jess sighed. "Mel, someone's got to talk to him. If you... if something happens to you, he's going to be heart-broken."

Mel sighed and nodded. "I know, Jess. I also know that you're in as much denial right now as he is."

Jess frowned. "Mel, that's not fair..."

"But is it true?" Mel sighed. "Jess, I'm not trying to hurt anyone here. Look, I'll talk to Cole, okay?"

Jess nodded. "Are we opening tonight?"

Mel shook her head. "No, I don't think so. Go home, take the day off, Jess."

"I could stay if you want..." Jess offered tentatively.

"It's okay." Mel shook her head. "I'm not real great company right now, Jess."

Jess sighed and nodded. "Well, if you need anything..."

Mel nodded, sighing again. People kept saying that, like she was somehow incapable of taking care of herself suddenly. It was annoying, especially since she felt just fine. "Yeah, Jess. See you tomorrow, okay?"

Jess nodded and rose. "Sure, Mel. You hang in there."

She smiled and nodded. "You, too, Jess. Cheer up, okay?"

Jess nodded slowly and turned to leave. "Talk to you later, Mel."

Mel smiled and nodded. "Okay."

Jess hurried down the stairs, as much to escape the oppressive heat upstairs as anything. 

Cole looked up from his reading as she returned to the bar. "You're sweating..." he observed.

Jess rolled her eyes and nodded, quickly checking to make sure that nothing was too visible through her sweat-soaked blouse. "Yeah. Mel's got it up over ninety in there."

"She must be cold..." Cole muttered, reaching for another book.

"Yeah." Jess nodded and sat down next to him. "Cole, put the book down and look at me for a second."

He obediently put his book down and regarded her quizzically. "Yes, Jess?"

"Cole, has it occurred to you that Mel might not get any better and that you might not be able to help her?"

He nodded. "Of course it has, Jess. But that doesn't mean that I can't try."

"I know, but I worry about you." Jess took his hand and smiled gently at him. "I just don't want you to be too upset if Mel doesn't get better, Cole."

Since he did not believe for one second that Mel was not going to get better, he saw no harm in telling her, "Don't worry, I won't be. I promise, Jess." He smiled warmly at her.

Jess nodded slowly and rose. "Look, Mel says that the bar's not going to open tonight, so I'm going to take off unless you need anything."

He shook his head. "I'm fine, Jess."

She sighed and nodded. "Okay, Cole. You call if you need anything, or if you just want to talk."

He smiled and nodded. "I will, Jess. Bye." 

As she left, he returned his attention to the book in his hands. It was all very interesting, he reflected, although it was also a wonder that humans lived as long as they did, given the number of problems to which their fragile bodies were prone. It was also very strange to think of _Mel_ in connection with any of these defects. She was always so strong and vibrant that the idea of some disease slowly draining the life from her body was not a connection that his mind had been willing to make before. On some level, he realized, he had stopped identifying her with her own people and started viewing her almost as a fellow Cirronian.

He frowned thoughtfully, putting the book down. When had that happened? And why? Certainly her life-force was unique among those he had encountered on this planet, but could it really be that unique? Or were his strong feelings for her clouding his judgment? The thought alarmed him because it might also mean that his feelings were clouding his perceptions of how sick she really was. Either way, it would not be long until he knew for sure. The books had told him all that they had to tell.

Rising, he piled the books neatly on the table and started up the stairs. As he opened the door, he was met by an invitingly warm blast of air. Mel had a habit of keeping the apartment far too cold for his taste, but right now it was perfect. He smiled as he walked towards his room. A wonderful smell coming from the kitchen distracted him, so he walked there instead. 

"Mel, what is that?" he asked, smiling curiously.

"Hot cocoa." She smiled at him and rose, pouring him a mug. "Here, have some. Any progress?"

He nodded. "I think I understand enough about your physiology now to construct some diagnostic equipment." He sat down and took a cautious sip of the cocoa. He smiled at her. "It's very good, Mel."

She grinned and sat down again. "I'm glad you like it, Cole. It's my grandmother's special recipe." They sat in silence for a few moments, drinking the cocoa. Finally, Mel asked, a little nervously, "What exactly will these tests you're going to do involve?"

Cole glanced up, startled by her anxious tone. "What's wrong, Mel?" he asked gently, reaching across the table and touching her hands.

She shrugged, a little embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Cole. I'm just sick of painful, invasive medical procedures..."

Cole nodded his understanding. In the medical-books, most of the tests mentioned had seemed somewhere between unpleasant and torturous. "It won't hurt, Mel..." he assured her gently, giving her a reassuring smile. "All I need is a little skin-sample. You probably won't even feel it. It won't hurt."

Mel smiled and rose. Circling the table, she wrapped her arms around Cole from behind. "Thank you, Cole..." she whispered.

"What are you doing, Mel?" he asked curiously, hoping that the question would not prompt her to stop. 

He was feeling a little dizzy and his thoughts were becoming fuzzy again, but otherwise it felt very nice, the way her hair was brushing against his cheek and especially the feel of her hands against his chest. Her warmth made it hard to tell where her body stopped and his started. It was amazing. And very, very pleasant.

Mel grinned at the question. "It's a hug, Cole."

Cole nodded. She had hugged him before of course, though never quite like this, so he understood what it was meant to convey. As Mel had explained it some time ago, a hug was a touch between human friends meant to convey strong emotions, usually, but not always, positive. Hugging Mel was always nice when her emotions were positive, and this time was no exception. He reached up and gently covered her hands with his own, unsure of the proper protocol for this type of hug but hoping that it was one of those hugs which lasted for a very long time.

He smiled up at her. "This is nice, Mel."

She smiled and inhaled deeply, enjoying the closeness. "Yeah, it is." 

At first, he had seemed to be a little uncomfortable with casual touching, but lately he had really been warming up to the idea, especially, Mel had noticed, where she was concerned. That thought gave her the warm fuzzies. It also gave her hope for the future of their relationship, although she was always careful not to push where that was concerned. He had made his feelings clear enough in that regard. The best she could do was to be there for him and help him in his mission without pushing for a physical relationship. 

Having said that, though, she knew that if Cole ever came to her and _asked_ for such a relationship she would have been more than happy to oblige. But the fact remained that Cole was not, in spite of his outward appearance, human. She had no idea what was going on inside of his mind, could only guess from his actions. And even those were sometimes hard to interpret.

The truth was very simple. She loved Cole, liked to think that he might love her as well, but in truth she simply had no idea and would not until Cole made his feelings clear. Or, perhaps, clearer than he had when he had told her that he could not afford to get 'distracted'. Mel sighed and pulled away.

Cole glanced up at her curiously. "Is something wrong?"

She shook her head. "No, Cole."

He frowned uncertainly. She had sighed. Sighing was for sorrow or confusion. Why was she lying to him? Because there was something that she did not want him to know, obviously, but what? "If you'd like to talk about it..." he began tentatively.

She shook her head. "No, Cole. I don't think you'd understand." She gently kissed his cheek. "Thank you, though."

"You're welcome, Mel." He rose and smiled at her, his face burning where she had kissed him. "I should get to work. If you decide you would like to talk, I'll be in my room."

Mel nodded. "Thanks, Cole."

"I'll see you soon."

She nodded. As he left, she called after him, "Cole?"

He turned. "Yes, Mel?"

"Do you need any help?"

He considered for a moment. He knew that, when humans were upset, they tended to crave socialization. It was likely that this need for company was at the root of Mel's offer, and he could not leave her alone if she was upset. He found himself not really wanting to leave her alone anyway. 

He smiled at her and nodded. "That would be nice, Mel."

She grinned. "Good. What do you need me to do?" she asked, following him to his room.

***

Three hours later, the makeshift testing equipment was ready. Her remaining microwave had been gutted, although Cole assured her that he would fix it when he was done. Mel could not help but wonder how powerful it would be once Cole had 'restored' it to its original condition. The thing would probably boil water in under five seconds and burn popcorn in under a minute. They had also done some work on a toaster-over and one of Cole's computers, although Mel was not sure what had become of those. They had vanished when Mel had left the room for five minutes to find Cole a 40-watt light bulb. 

Cole's desk currently looked like a cross between its normal, cluttered self and something out of a 50's B-movie about mad scientists. Cole had picked up a large glass beaker and a handful of test-tubes at the store, along with a bottle of iodine and no fewer than ten of rubbing-alcohol. He emptied several of the bottles into a large beaker in the center of the mass of equipment. It was resting on the hot-plate that Mel had almost thrown out during her last spring cleaning.

Mel watched, curious. "So, how's it work?"

"This..." he began, pointing to a piece of equipment, "analyses your DNA for flaws that could lead to metabolic upset..." 

The rest of Cole's explanation flew quite predictably over Mel's head, but she smiled and nodded and pretended that she got the gist of it. When Cole had finished, she asked, "So, you said you would need... a skin-sample?" she asked.

He nodded. "From inside your mouth. That way I can test your DNA _and_ look at your hormone and body-toxin levels."

Mel shrugged. "If you say so."

Cole produced a sterile cotton-swab and unwrapped it, taking her chin in one hand. "Open your mouth, Mel."

Mel shrugged and allowed Cole to wipe the swab around the inside of one cheek. He dropped it into the large beaker and typed a series of commands onto the computer.

"What now?" Mel asked.

Cole used an eye-dropper to transfer some of the liquid from the large beaker to each of the test-tubes. "Now we wait."

Mel nodded. "How long will it take?"

"Under an hour."

"Let's go downstairs..." Mel suggested. "I could use a drink." In fact, she almost _needed_ one. She was feeling a little breathless for some reason.

He nodded. "Okay, Mel."

They walked downstairs and Mel stepped behind the bar. "Cole, could you turn on the jukebox? I feel like listening to some music."

"Okay, Mel. What do you want to hear?"

"Something happy."

Cole nodded and called up the song that they had listened to when Mel had taught him how to dance. Hearing it always made him happy, and he hoped that it might have the same effect on her. Mel rested her elbows on the bar and rested her chin on her hands, smiling at him. Cole returned to the bar, grinning in response to her infectious smile.

Mel smiled, remembering her recent dreams with a flush of pleasure. She circled the bar and held a hand out to Cole. "Dance with me."

"Okay, Mel." 

Smiling, he took her hand and pulled her gently into his arms. Dancing with her before had been nice, but this was even nicer. She felt different in his arms this time, more yielding somehow. He smiled down at her as she snuggled into his chest. She had not showed him how to dance like this, but it was not difficult to figure out. He slid his arms around her and held her close, swaying in time to the music with her. When the song was over, neither felt particularly motivated to walk all the way over to the jukebox, so they continued dancing despite a total lack of music.  

Mel smiled up at him, basking in his warmth. "Cole..." she muttered languidly.

"Yes, Mel?" he asked gently.

"Thank you..." she whispered, reaching up and stroking his face.

"For what, Mel?" he asked, curiously regarding her fingers on his face, wondering what she was doing. Whatever it was, it felt very nice, he decided.

How could a man make a woman feel the way Cole made her feel and _not_ realize it? "Never mind, Cole..." 

Smiling, she shook her head and pulled him closer. His total lack of understanding could be so endearing at times. She fleetingly wondered how Vic or Jess would have reacted if they had walked in at that moment and seen Mel, wearing nothing but a silk bathrobe, close-dancing with Cole without any music. It was amusing to picture their respective expressions, especially the look that Jess would no doubt be wearing, somewhere between 'I'm so jealous' and 'it's about bloody time'.

Cole noticed when she shifted closer and was slightly surprised by it. He would not have thought that it was possible for them to move any closer than they had been, but Mel had managed. He experienced a brief surge of frustration that he did not understand everything that there was to know about human relationships and, more especially, human intimacy. Although he had told Mel that they could not have a physical relationship, he _wanted_ one, sometimes so badly that it left a bitter taste in his mouth. 

He had no idea how to broach the subject with her, though. He had noticed that certain subjects seemed to distress her when he brought them up, and, unfortunately, this seemed to be one of them. The net result was that he knew almost nothing about these particular human behaviors, not only in the biological sense, but also in the social one. What made one man a woman's friend and another something more was beyond him and, since he could not ask Mel without upsetting her, it seemed likely to remain beyond him. The thought left him feeling strangely hollow inside.

He pulled away from Mel, hoping that being in a different room and having something else to occupy his mind would distract him from the unpleasant thoughts and the physical sensations that they triggered. "I should go check..." he muttered, leaving quickly.

Mel stared after him, shaking her head. The behavior was typical of Cole, work first, _then_ Mel. Somehow, the thought did not irritate her, it only made her feel sad and very, very lonely.

***

Cole stared at the results on the computer-screen, frowning and shaking his head. What had he done wrong? He rubbed his forehead, trying to recall when and _how_ he could have contaminated Mel's genetic sample, but he could not think of anything. Shaking his head, he re-ran the results, adding a command to screen out the contamination where it occurred. The results were identical.

Cole rubbed his mouth and stared at the screen again, sighing deeply. Clearly he had done something seriously wrong in constructing the diagnostic equipment. The program was flawed, it was the only possibility. 

"Isn't it?" he asked himself quietly, typing a few more commands. 

He continued testing long after the results became indisputable. There was absolutely no question of it. A few more tests told Cole all he needed to know. He sighed deeply, stunned and more than a little flustered.

"At least I know what's wrong with her..." he muttered, shaking his head and not even realizing that he was doing the very thing that he had quizzed Mel about so recently, talking to himself.

So he knew what was wrong with her. But how the hell was he supposed to explain it to her when he could barely believe it himself? He sat there for several more minutes before rising to find Mel. He had to tell her. She had a right to know. He found her in her bedroom, reading. Trying to read, he amended as she tossed the book aside in disgust. She looked up, startled to realize that she was not alone.

She smiled at him. "Oh, hi, Cole." Her smile faded at the look on his face. "Is something wrong?" she asked.

Cole was not entirely sure how to answer that, so he settled for, "We need to talk, Mel."

Mel shrugged and nodded, feeling a little anxious. The look on his face was _not_ a promising sign. "Sure, sit."

"Not here, Mel." Cole shook his head, feeling uncomfortably with the idea of discussing this with Mel here. It was not only that, in the past, she had made it clear that her bedroom was off-limits. Cole may not have known much, but he knew enough about human intimacy to know that the bedroom was where it happened. "Living room."

She shrugged and followed him, her stomach sinking. "You know what's wrong with me?" she asked quietly as she settled down on the couch. To her surprise, Cole took the arm-chair instead of sitting next to her, distancing himself from her. That could _not_ be a good sign.

Cole nodded slowly. "I know what's wrong with you, Mel..." he began slowly. "Which is why we need to talk."


	4. the Talk

**Chapter 4 -- the Talk**

Mel regarded Cole anxiously as he sat, silently searching for words. Cole was so seldom at a loss for words, and, even when he was, it seldom slowed down his efforts to explain things. The awkward silence was incredibly uncomfortable for her.

Finally, she took a deep breath. "So, what's going on?" she asked, trying to sound casual. She was not entirely sure that she wanted an answer, but she _needed _one.

In his search to find words to explain Mel's perplexing condition, Cole had almost forgotten that he was keeping her waiting. She looked nervous and more than a little afraid. "Mel..." he began slowly, deciding to approach the matter in a more roundabout way. Hopefully, the words would come more easily once they were discussing the actual reasons for her condition. "How well did you know your grandfather? The one who was married to the grandmother who lived here..."

Mel frowned, surprised by the question. "Um, I didn't know him. He died before I was born." She stared at him uncertainly for several minutes before cautiously asking, "Why?"

Cole inhaled deeply. His chest felt oddly tight. "Mel, he was Cirronian..." Cole began cautiously. 

There were many issues involved here, not the least of which was the racial purity that so many species seemed to hold so dear. Cirronians, who, it was believed, were not genetically compatible with any other species, had never considered it a very important thing, but Cole knew from his travels that many species _did_. How would a human who had only recently learned of the existence of other species react? He watched her closely, wondering how to calm her if she grew upset.

Mel stared uncomprehendingly at him. "What?" she finally managed. Her head was swimming. "How... how is that possible, Cole?"

"I don't know, Mel." He shook his head uncertainly. Why Cirronians should be compatible with humans when they were not compatible with any of the species in their own solar-system was puzzling.

Mel took a deep breath, closing her eyes. "How did this happen? I mean... how could a human... and a Cirronian..."

She did not seem upset, only confused. Cole was relieved. "Well, if he had taken on the outward... appearances of a human..." He paused, not really sure _how_ these things worked with humans. "The... exchange of genetic materials would be the same as if he were truly human." He shrugged uncomfortably. They were once again getting into territory that Mel would not be entirely comfortable with. Cole suddenly found himself quite uncomfortable with it as well.

Mel glanced up, startled. Was he actually embarrassed. Why was he embarrassed talking about human sex? In the past, he had told her about Cirronian mating without the least sign of discomfort, and he had _never_ seemed embarrassed by talk of the human way of doing things before. So what had him embarrassed? She dismissed this curiosity from her head, turning her attention to more pressing concerns. 

"Whatever's wrong with me, Cole, is it because of this? Because I'm part Cirronian?" she asked, assuming that this was why he had brought it up in the first place.

He nodded slowly, searching for the words. "Medically, Mel, it's... incorrect to say that there's anything _wrong_..." he began uncertainly. She seemed to be taking the fact that she was part Cirronian fairly well, but he was not entirely certain that she would take the rest of his news as well. Humans were funny that way.

Mel stared at him uncomprehendingly. It was not hard to believe that she was not truly sick, especially since she did not _feel_ at all unwell. What troubled her was Cole's reaction to the news. She had never seen the Cirronian so flustered over _any_thing. Something else was going on here. She leaned towards him and took his hands gently in hers and saw him stiffen slightly. That was a strange response, too.

"Am I _contagious_?" she asked nervously, letting go of his hands and leaning away.

Contagious? Cole considered this for a moment before shaking his head. "No. You aren't sick, Mel."

"Then what's happening to me? Is it... _normal_?"

Cole nodded quickly. "Very normal, Mel. It... happens a lot to... young women."

"Then what's the problem?" Mel asked, staring at him. "Cole, _talk_ to me..." she said firmly.

"Mel..." he began slowly, searching for words to explain the concept. "You are... reacting to the... proximity of another Cirronian." 

He nodded, relieved to have at least partially expressed it. Why was this so hard for him? It was one of those perfectly normal things that happened all the time and that Cirronian children were born with an almost instinctive knowledge of. Yet here he was, stumbling and grasping for words.

Mel stared at him dubiously, suspecting that he was trying to express a lot more than he had in that halting phrase. "I don't understand, Cole."

He flushed and nodded. He was obviously going to have to do better. There was no real point in being embarrassed anyway, he reminded himself firmly. "Your body, Mel, is in a state of... readiness." The word felt wrong, but he was unsure how else to express it.

"Readiness?" Mel repeated, staring. At his slow nod, she asked, "Readiness for _what_ exactly?"

How to say it without unduly embarrassing her as well? Was that even going to be possible? "Mating, Mel..." he said quickly without looking at her.

"Mating..." Mel repeated. She let out a strangled laugh that had nothing to do with mirth. "I'm in _heat_?" she gasped, staring at him. God, no wonder the poor guy was so flustered.

Cole looked up, startled. Frowning, he shook his head. "_Animals_ go into heat, Mel. This is very different."

"Different how, Cole?" Mel pressed, still trying to wrap her head around the two bombshells that Cole had just dropped on her.

Cole glanced up at her. "If you had been raised on Cirron, I would not have to explain this to you..."

"But I wasn't, Cole..." Mel pointed out. "So start talking." Realizing how harsh that sounded, she amended. "I'm trying _very_ hard to understand all of this, Cole. Please help me."

He nodded and slowly began to explain to her. "When a male and female Cirronian care about each other..." he began, stopping when Mel let out another laugh, this one definitely amused. "What?" he asked in confusion. He could not see any humor in the situation.

"Cole, you're giving me the Talk!" Mel giggled helplessly, shaking her head.

"What talk, Mel?" Cole repeated uncertainly. Laughter had been the last response he would have expected from her.

Mel buried her face in her hands. His perplexed look was only making her laugh harder. Composing herself, she explained, "_The_ Talk... When humans reach physical maturity their parents sit them down and explain sex to them." She frowned curiously as his expression became even more uncertain. "Not like that where you come from?" she asked.

He shook his head. "It's commonly understood, Mel. By the time a Cirronian is ready to take a mate, there's no need to explain it."

"God, no wonder you're so embarrassed..." Mel muttered, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, Cole." She pulled her knees under her chin and wrapped her arms around her legs. "I'm sorry, Cole. Please tell me what's happening to me." She glanced at him. "And why..." she added slowly. 

She was not entirely sure why she added that, except that something was nagging at the back of her mind, telling her that there was more going on here than what Cole had already expressed.

Cole's voice was quiet and halting as he struggled with both the words and his own humiliation at having gotten Mel into such a condition. "When male and female Cirronians care about each other very deeply, Mel, they... release pheromones."

"Like animals?" Mel asked, frowning.

He shook his head. "Not really. Animals mate because they want to have children. Cirronians mate because they care." He looked up at her with an almost guilty expression. In assuming that she was human, he had also assumed that caring about her, that the involuntary release of pheromones that came with caring, would not affect her in the least.

"Then why is this happening?" Mel asked quietly. "Just... explain the biology first and _then_ we'll deal with everything else." She gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. A little of the initial shock at being part Cirronian was starting to wear off, leaving in its wake an even greater degree of shock at her condition.

Cole stared at his feet as he spoke. "There are two different pheromones involved, Mel, that indicate... receptiveness." He shook his head. "I guess you would call it love, Mel. Cirronian mates release pheromones to indicate that they are in love with each other. They are... specific to the people involved, and the male's pheromones change once they are exposed to the appropriate female ones, which, if she is producing the correct pheromones at the same time... triggers a change in the female's physiology." He indicated Mel. 

Mel considered this for a moment before its implications set in. "So, this is happening to me because of you?"

He nodded weakly. 

"Because you _care_ about me?" Mel asked, staring. Another weak nod. "Because you _love_ me, Cole?"

He nodded again and looked up at her with wide eyes. "I'm sorry, Mel..." he said softly. From the very beginning, he had noticed the unique nature of her life-force, but he had always failed to assume that she was anything other than human. If he had realized the obvious, this whole situation could have been avoided.

"For what?" Mel asked gently, shaking her head. "It's not like you _meant_ for this to happen... Did you?" 

"No!" He glanced up cautiously. "So you aren't... angry with me?"

Mel laughed and shook her head. "Come here, Cole." She beckoned to him and patted the edge of the couch.

Cole slowly rose and sat down next to her, eyeing her cautiously. "It _will_ pass, Mel..." he assured her quietly.

Mel sighed and stared at him. "Wow..." she muttered. "This is... this is a whole lot to absorb, Cole." She lightly touched his chest, then pulled her hand away as it occurred to her that she had been all over the poor man lately. At least now she knew why. "Please, Cole, don't be sorry. It's not your fault." She smiled faintly. "You say this will go away? How long will that take?"

"Not more than a few weeks."

"A few _weeks_..." Mel repeated with a sigh. She felt like crawling out of her own skin, could not tolerate anybody but Cole touching her, could not stand clothes, was, in fact, starting to get irritated by her silk bathrobe, and it was going to be _weeks_ before she got better? She shook her head. How was she supposed to tolerate this for that long? "It'll pass in few weeks... or when I mate?" she guessed.

Cole nodded slowly, wondering if she was actually suggesting what she seemed to be suggesting. Joining with Mel would be... wonderful beyond words. "Yes, Mel..." he told her softly. "A few weeks or when you mate."

"Oh, God..." No wonder he was so freaked. She stared thoughtfully at him, wondering if that was something that he wanted or not. "Cole, I'm not going to ask you to do anything that you don't want to..."

He stared up at her with wide eyes. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath before speaking. "If we didn't both want... _this_... you would not be in readiness now, Mel."

Mel inhaled deeply. If they didn't _both_ want it? "God..." she whispered. "You being there and loving me... that by itself isn't enough to cause this, is it, Cole?"

He shook his head. "No, Mel. To trigger this, we must care about each other."

"Physical proximity and love..." Mel muttered, sighing. "From both of us?"

He nodded mutely, waiting for her to react. Rejection or acceptance would be decided in the next few moments.

"Oh, God..." she whispered, rubbing her mouth. 

"Don't be upset, Mel..." Cole told her gently, lightly caressing her throat and ignoring his own pain at the perceived rejection. "My presence here is making this worse. I'll go until you're better. It'll be easier for you. Your symptoms will be less." He rose and turned to leave.

Mel swiftly rose and moved between Cole and the door, doing her best to ignore the myriad of physical sensations that placing herself that close to the Cirronian caused. She took a deep breath. "What if I don't want you to leave?" she asked quietly.

Cole stared uncomprehendingly for a moment. "You... wish me to stay?" he asked uncertainly.

Mel sighed deeply. "I told you that I'm not going to ask you to do anything that you don't want to, Cole, and I'm not. But... if you stayed, I'd like that very much."

"If I stay, Mel, your symptoms will continue to get worse."

Mel sighed and nodded. "Can we just... talk for a few more minutes before you decide?"

Cole nodded. She seemed curious about something. "Of course we can, Mel." He followed her back to the living-room and sat down in the arm-chair again. When Mel had gotten as comfortable as she could on the couch, he asked, "Was there something specific that you wanted to know about, Mel?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I guess there is, Cole. You said that this is a two-way street." Noting his confused look, she explained, "That we're both actively involved in what's happening to me. Is that right?"

He nodded. "Yes, Mel."

"Okay. And are you... feeling any symptoms?" she asked softly.

"Only when you're close." He paused thoughtfully as something occurred to him about the strange feelings that he had been experiencing every time Mel got close or touched him. "I... in this body... I can't be sure, but I think that they might be indicators of receptiveness."

"Is that a good thing, Cole?" Mel asked gently.

He shook his head in confusion at the question. "I don't understand, Mel."

Mel inhaled deeply. "I know that in the past you've said that it wouldn't be a good idea for us to have a physical relationship, Cole. Is that still how you feel?"

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I didn't feel that way when I said it, Mel. I was scared for you. I thought that it would be easier to protect you, but... I can't change the way I feel, Mel."

She rose and sat on the coffee-table in front of him. "Maybe it's time that we rethink the direction we want this relationship to take, Cole."

He touched her chest lightly, quickly pulling his hand away. "Mel, you may need time alone..." he told her gently. "My presence may be interfering with your thinking."

She inhaled deeply and shook her head. "No, Cole, your presence is _not_ interfering with my thinking." She shivered. "Although it _does_ seem to be driving my temperature up..." she trailed off abruptly and rose. Shaking her head, she left the room at a half-run.

Alarmed, Cole followed. He found her in the kitchen, sitting at the table and shaking. She seemed to be crying. "Mel?" he asked, concerned.

She looked up at him and he realized that she was not crying at all, but laughing. "Oh, my God, Cole! I'm _hot_ for you!" she exclaimed, howling with laughter. "I'm hot for you..." she gasped again, shaking her head. 

Cole stared at her in momentary confusion, then smiled and nodded. "Yes, Mel. You are... hot for me." He grinned and shook his head. Put that way, it really was very funny.

She rose and hugged him, still laughing. Cole smiled and held her close. Both were shaking with laughter. "Cole..." Mel laughed, smiling up at him and touching his chest.

Cole held her close with one hand and caressed her throat with the other. "Mel, what do you want?" he asked gently. 

He wanted to make it very clear to her that his own needs and desires were secondary to hers. Humans, he knew, were not like Cirronians where their relationships were involved. Not only did they sometimes let themselves get pressured into relationships that they did not want, but they also often regretted their relationships, even ones that they had entered into enthusiastically. He was unwilling to put Mel in a position where she might do something that she would later regret.

Mel looked up at him with wide eyes. She wanted _him_. But was he really ready for a physical relationship? Was it ethical to try to bring him into one _now_? Could she survive another two weeks like this without going crazy? Definitely not. So what did that leave?

She took a deep breath. "Cole, I have two questions that I need you to answer for me."

"Okay, Mel..." He nodded. Good, she was thinking this through. That made it less likely that she might later regret whatever decision she ultimately made.

"If we were to... change the nature of our relationship, Cole, would that change be a permanent one? Or would things just go back to the way they were before?"

"You mean would we remain mates?" he asked, wanting to be sure that he understood her clearly. When she nodded, he did as well. "I can't change the way I feel about you, Mel. This would only make that stronger. It would be wrong to pretend that nothing happened."

Mel nodded, relieved. "Okay. That's good. Good to know." She rested her head against his chest, not sure how to express her other question.

"There was something else you wanted to know?" he asked gently.

She looked up and nodded slowly. "Cole. Me, my body... I'm one-quarter Cirronian, right?"

He nodded. "Yes, Mel."

She closed her eyes. "Is that enough for us to mate the way that Cirronians do?" she asked haltingly.

Cole stared at her, surprised by the question. "Yes, Mel."

"And would you... would you like that?" she asked, too embarrassed to look at him.

He stared at her uncertainly for a moment, then nodded. "I'd like that very much, Mel."

She smiled, feeling like she might burst from joy. "Now, Cole?"

He stared again. "You wish to..." he began.

She nodded. "Yeah, Cole. I wish to." She approached him and gently took his hands in hers. "But only if it's what _you_ want. I won't be upset if it's not what you want, Cole, okay? It's... it's got to be up to you." She dropped his hands and turned to leave. "Think about it. I'll be back later."

Cole stared after her with a shocked smile. He had always assumed that the difference in their species, coupled with his complete inexperience in such matters, would keep her from ever caring for him as deeply as he cared for her, but he had been wrong. She loved him. She loved him and she wanted to be with him. Not, he was surprised to discover, in the human way, but in the Cirronian one, as if she had sensed his confusion and uncertainty over the human ways. 

He smiled, his eyes drifting shut, at the thought of his energy flowing into hers, becoming hers. It was something that he had long been disappointed to believe that he would never share with her. And now she was offering him the chance to show her how wonderful it could be. It was amazing.

Smiling, he went to find Mel. She was downstairs, sitting at the bar and reading her grandmother's diary. She had, Cole observed with some surprise, put her clothes back on, as though just knowing what was wrong had been enough to ease much of her discomfort. She looked up at him with a smile, knowing his answer without him having to tell her.

"You brought light to my darkness..." she muttered, putting the diary down and rising.

Cole walked to her and slid his arms around her, pulling her close. Holding her close, he smiled as he whispered, "And warmth to the most bitter of Chicago's winter nights..." 


	5. Taushi

One more shout-out to my wonderful Beta-reader Cyn Tolram… Love ya', girl. Thanks for all the thought-provoking questions and comments and for catching all the stupid typos that, in spite of my best efforts, keep raring their ugly head. See, there's one now…

**Chapter 5 -- Taushi**

"So, um... what exactly does this involve?" Mel asked, pacing around her bedroom.

Cole was sitting on the edge of her bed, watching her pace uncertainly, wanting to know why she was so nervous. "I've explained it to you in the past, Mel..." he told her, rising and putting his hand on her shoulder, gently restraining her from pacing. "You're nervous. Maybe this isn't a good idea."

Mel shook her head. "No, Cole... I mean, yes, I _am_ nervous, but that doesn't mean I'm having doubts or second thoughts. I want this..." She nodded and sighed. "I do. I have for a long time."

"Then why are you nervous?" he asked in confusion.

She shook her head. "I don't know. I'm afraid I'll screw up or something, I guess..." She looked up at him. "I just don't want to do anything wrong, Cole."

Cole frowned uncertainly. "You're... afraid you won't know what to do?" he asked, surprised. As used to them as he had started to grow, humans were very strange creatures after all.

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Mel..." He led her over to the bed and sat her down, crouching in front of her. He rested on hand on her knee and the other lightly against her throat. "You're Cirronian. You'll know."

"What, like an instinct?"

Cole nodded. "Yes." He smiled lovingly and caressed her throat. "You do _not_ have to be afraid, Mel..."

She smiled and nodded. "I know." Sex, human or Cirronian, had to be about trust, and she trusted Cole implicitly. He was always so loving and gentle that she had no doubt in her mind that this experience was going to be the same.

He rose and pulled her into his arms, holding her close. "When you're ready."

"What, just like that?" she asked, startled.

Cole nodded in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Well, it's just that humans... before... they..." she trailed off, reminding herself firmly that she was _not_ going to allow this to become physical, just... metaphysical. Cole was still too much like a child in too many respects for her to feel comfortable exposing him to sex yet, or to any of the fun activities that generally took place beforehand.

Cole smiled. "Humans kiss first?" he guessed.

Mel smiled and nodded. Kissing was nice and safe. "Yeah, they do."

"I like kissing you, Mel..." he told her. "It feels very nice."

"So kiss me..." Mel suggested gently, brushing her lips against his.

Cole closed his eyes and pulled her body against his own, pressing his lips against hers. When he had first learned about this human custom, it had seemed strange to him, and he had been reluctant to attempt it the first time, but there was no denying how pleasant it felt. Human lips must have had more nerve-endings than any other part of their bodies to generate so many sensations all at once. Oddly, the pleasure did not confine itself to his lips, although that was the only part of her that he was really touching. Rather, it spread outwards from there, heating him to his soul. He could feel the energy sparking just under her skin, hinting at things to come. And she was so warm in his arms, her temperature just perfect, identical to his own. He was having trouble distinguishing between their respective bodies again, which only increased his pleasure at the kiss. His heart was pounding almost painfully inside his chest, but he was too wrapped up in his own sensations and emotions to care.

Mel pulled away first, breathless and hanging on to Cole for balance. "Wow..." she panted. "You're... _really_ good at that, Cole."

"So are you. Do you need to sit down?" he asked, mildly concerned.

She nodded. "Yeah. You?"

Cole realized that he _did _feel oddly dizzy. He smiled sheepishly and nodded. "Yes."

Mel laughed quietly as they sat on the edge of the bed, composing themselves. She put one hand on his knee and leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. Smiling and enjoying the contact, he slid one arm around her waist.

Mel smiled up at him and raised her other hand to his chest. "God, Cole..." She paused uncertainly as it occurred to her that she always before called him Cole, never once using his real name. Maybe it would be more appropriate to use his Cirronian name. "Should I call you Daggon?" she asked gently. 

He smiled at her. "I prefer the name Cole."

"Why?" Mel asked, smiling curiously.

"Because you gave it to me..." He brushed his lips against hers again, but did not pursue a kiss. She seemed perfectly comfortable just leaning against him. To kiss her with any seriousness, they both would have had to move.

Mel sighed softly and snuggled into him, feeling completely contented and loved. After a few minutes, she rose and dimmed the lights.

"What are you doing, Mel?" Cole asked curiously.

Mel smiled as it occurred to her that this was another one of those cultural idiosyncrasies that Cole was so constantly confused by. What was less important than why. By doing what she would have done with a human man, she was trying to control the situation, bring it squarely into her context. Why was it so important for her that this be similar to making love with a human male? Because she was nervous, she supposed, and trying to make this strange new experience she was about to have as familiar as possible. As badly as she wanted this, she was still scared by the idea, and eager to retain at least some of the control, some of the power in the interaction. She had always been like that, afraid to surrender control in her relationships, no matter how much she cared about the man.

She turned to face Cole, smiling at him and explaining, "Humans... usually they like to have the lights low. Or candles burning."

"Candles are nice..." Cole remarked, nodding. Their flickering light faintly reminded him of the pulsing patterns of light generated during mating. It was very beautiful and peaceful.

Mel smiled and turned the lights back on. "Yes they are. Stay put and I'll go get some."

Cole waited patiently while Mel retrieved the candles, wondering what it was about the dark or semi-dark that humans enjoyed during their mating. When Mel had lit several candles and turned off the overhead light, he suddenly understood. The candlelight danced around the room and bounced off of the walls and ceiling in a fascinating pattern. Cole watched the light dance off of Mel with a smile. She turned on her CD player, then approached Cole.

He rose and caressed her throat, approving of both the flickering candlelight and the airy music that swirled through the room. "This is... romantic?" he asked curiously.

Mel grinned and nodded. "Yeah. At least, it's supposed to be."

"I like it." He smiled at her. "Can we dance?" he asked hopefully.

Mel smiled and nodded, letting him pull her into his arms. "So many things make sense now that didn't before..." Mel told him quietly as they swayed in place.

"Your grandmother was right..." he told her softly.

"About what, Cole?" she asked quietly.

"What you told me in the hospital, Mel. Things happen for a reason."

She grinned. "Like the fit of temporary insanity that caused me to pick up a half-naked, incoherent stranger on an abandoned road." She looked up at him. "Now I know why I did. It was like... something in you was calling out to something in me. I never really understood why I did it before."

He smiled, finally understanding at least part of what it was that had drawn him so strongly to her from the first. "We've been calling out to each other for a very long time now, Mel. We've just both been too busy and too blind to listen."

Mel nodded and buried her face in his chest, inhaling deeply, wondering if that elusive smell of his that she had always liked so much was, in fact, the pheromone that he had mentioned. She opened her eyes slightly, then pulled away from Cole, startled.

"Is something wrong, Mel?" he asked gently.

"Cole, you're... _glowing_." She stared at him with wide, wondering eyes. It was the most amazing thing that she had ever seen. It was not, as she had first thought, some kind of transformation. He was not turning into a Cirronian or anything like that. He still looked like normal, human Cole, exactly as he always looked, except that there was a gentle, golden light hanging about his skin like an aura. It was an almost heartbreakingly beautiful sight.

He smiled and took her hand, leading her to the mirror on her dresser. "So are you, Mel..." he whispered as she stood in front of it, staring at herself in awe. He smiled and shook his head as Mel stared down at her glowing hands, then back at the glowing face in the mirror several times, shocked. "It's okay, Mel..." he told her gently, stepping between her and the mirror and caressing her throat and face. "It's perfectly normal."

"You could have warned me..." Mel pointed out, shaking her head and grinning.

"I'm sorry, Mel." He shrugged. It had not occurred to him that these human bodies would glow the way that Cirronian ones did.

"We could have saved the candles..." she added with a soft laugh.

Cole smiled and stared at her almost reverently. "You are _so_ beautiful, Mel..." he whispered.

"So are you..." she answered truthfully, lightly touching his chest. It was as if all the beauty of that she had glimpsed in his soul was shining through, making itself seen... for her eyes alone. "Are you... are we... ready?"

Cole nodded. "We are. If you are, Mel..."

She nodded. "Um..." she began a little hesitantly. "How do we... start?"

"Take your shirt off, Mel..." he said in a low voice. He was not sure _why_ he was whispering, but it seemed strangely appropriate under the circumstances.

"Okay." Mel nodded and slowly pulled her shirt off. Cole was watching with wide, curious eyes. With shaking hands, she started to unclasp her bra.

Cole covered her hand with his, sensing her hesitancy. "If you feel more comfortable, Mel, you can keep that on..." he told her gently, wanting her to be as comfortable with this as possible.

Mel considered for a few moments. The bra was just another layer between them, another way for her to retain at least the illusion of control over circumstances that, rationally, she knew were beyond her control. She lightly touched her fingers to Cole's cheek, grateful for his quiet consideration. He wanted this to be as easy as possible for her, a fact which only increased her love and respect for him. Still, if keeping the bra on represented control for her, perhaps taking it off could signify something else entirely. Like her trust for the man she loved.

Inhaling deeply, she unclasped her bra and pulled it off, never taking her eyes off of Cole as she let it fall to the ground. His eyes widened fractionally, and his expression reflected wonder, but he did not otherwise react.

"Okay..." She nodded, indicating that she was ready to continue.

Cole nodded and removed his shirt, glad that she seemed by her actions to be placing more trust in him. If she were nervous, or in the least reluctant, the joining could not take place. Too large a part of the process was about trust and openness.

Mel smiled at Cole as he quickly pulled his shirt off. The glow from his chest was stronger than that from his face. They were putting the candles in the room to shame. She reached out to touch him, but stilled her hand inches from his chest, uncertain.

"It's okay, Mel..." he told her gently, stepping into her touch. 

There was something incredibly charming about her uncertainty and innocent exploration, he decided as she caressed his chest lightly, staring into his eyes with quiet wonder. He had never experienced anything even remotely similar to this. His skin burned where her hands passed, and the warmth spread inward in gentle waves, heating his entire being. Maybe there was something to be said for human bodies after all. Nothing on Cirron compared to the physical sensations he was feeling here. He did not know the words 'erotic' or 'sensual', and there was no Cirronian equivalent to either, but if there had been, he could have used them to begin to describe the things Mel was making him feel.

Mel curiously moved her hands over his chest, amazed. His skin was hot under her hands, his temperature probably as high or higher than her own, but, like her, he was not sweating. She could feel something crackling under his skin, like electricity, but pleasant as opposed to painful. Standing this close to Cole in this state was like nothing she had ever experienced before. The closest she could come to describing the atmosphere in the room was to compare it to the electrical charge in the air before a thunderstorm, but that was a poor comparison, a shadow of the reality.

Mel leaned into his chest, inhaling deeply. "Cole..." she pled quietly, closing her eyes.

Cole shivered, startled by his own response to the feel of her skin against his. Her need merged with his own, intensifying both. He gently took her in his arms and turned her back to him, pulling her against him. Mel sighed and leaned into his chest, turning her head upwards to look at him. He smiled and wrapped his arms around her from behind, folding them over her chest and resting his hands on her shoulders.

"Comfortable?" he asked her gently, resting his cheek against hers.

"Oh, God, yes..." Mel breathed, her eyes drifting shut. 

She reached up and covered his hands with her own, sighing contentedly. She had never felt as at peace and serene as she did at this moment. With Cole's strong, gentle arms around her, she felt completely protected and perfectly loved. She could feel the energy crackling under his skin, warming them both. It was like spending a lazy afternoon on the beach sunbathing.

Her half-closed eyes opened as the feeling changed. The energy that she had felt under Cole's skin was  no longer confined to Cole's body, but flowing freely through her own. She was suddenly aware that, without conscious effort on her part, her own energy was flowing through his body as well. She could feel that as well, could trace its progress through him. 

Amazingly, she realized that she was feeling an echo of what he felt as well, not only physically, but every beautiful, perfect emotion. His joy, his pleasure, his amazement, faint amusement, his complete and unconditional love for her... she could feel it all, as if he were nothing more than an extension of herself. Images, alien, but strangely familiar filled her awareness with swirling colors and shining lights. His home, she realized, memories of the way the sun looked when it reflected off of the atmosphere, of home, his family, his parents, his wife and daughter, his travels to other worlds, the sunsets on Nodul, the Dessarian starscape... It was as if, in an instant, she shared every joyous memory he had ever acquired, and, in that heartbeat, she grew to know him better than she could ever have hoped to.

It was like living two lives at once, the most beautiful thing she had ever felt, as if a void in her soul had been filled. She had expected _some_ physical response, but, oddly, there was none, as if they were too deeply immersed in each other's minds to leave room for physical considerations.

Cole closed his eyes, giving himself over to the experience. By experiencing Mel's impressions, he could tell that human mating was nothing like this. Instead of being entirely spiritual, it was entirely physical.

They had nothing to compare to this. No wonder they were such a lonely species. It only increased his curiosity over the human ways, made him more eager to share that with Mel as well as he experienced fleeting impressions of passionate embraces and almost overwhelming physical sensations. It might have been nothing like the joining they were sharing now, but it left him curious and more than a little eager. 

He quickly pushed theses thoughts from his head and relaxed into the experience. Mel's reactions to the mating, he realized with faint amusement, were almost as wonderful as the mating itself. This was completely new to her, more amazing and surprising than it could _ever_ have been to a pureblooded Cirronian. Experiencing it through the tapestry of her innocence was like experiencing it again for the first time himself, better, even. It was wonderful beyond word or image, something no other Cirronian would likely ever be able to experience.

Tears of joy streamed unnoticed down his face as the empty place that had existed in his soul since his wife's death was filled, flooded with Mel's pure, vibrant life-force.

The wonderful exchange ended as abruptly as it had started. The experience was too short for either of them, although they could not have said later if it had lasted for a minute or an hour. They stood there for several moments, Cole half supporting Mel and half leaning on her, as they adapted to being confined to their own bodies again. Slowly, Mel turned in his arms until she was facing him again. Slipping her arms around him and holding him close, she smiled up at him.

"Mel, you're crying..." Cole whispered, concerned. Holding on to her with one hand, he reached down with the other and dried her tears.

Smiling at him, Mel reached up and dried his. "So beautiful..." she whispered, unable to find any other words that could even come close to describing what they had shared.

Cole smiled and rested his hand over her heart. "Taushi..." he whispered.

"What does that mean?" Mel asked, resting her head against his chest. She did not want to let him go, ever.

"The other half of my soul." Cole tightened his grip on her, not wanting to break their contact. They stood there for several more minutes before he reluctantly announced, "I need to sit down now, Mel."

"Are you okay?" she asked anxiously, pulling away and walking him to the bed.

"Oh, yes, Mel. It's just very draining."

Mel smiled, aware that she was half-ready to fall asleep herself. "Here, lie down, Cole."

"But I don't sleep, Mel."

"That's okay. I want to show you something."

"What, Mel?" he asked, obediently lying down on his back. He watched curiously as Mel stretched out next to him.

"It's called cuddling. Human lovers do it." She snuggled close to Cole, resting her head and one hand on his chest.

Lovers... People who love. What a beautiful description of what they had become. It even _sounded_ beautiful. "Why, Mel?" he asked, tentatively sliding his arms around her and pulling her more tightly against him.

Mel found herself lying half on top of him, and was not unhappy about it. He was a quick study. "To be close." She closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth of his bare chest against hers.

"It's very nice, Mel..." Cole remarked as she absently traced a pattern on his chest with one finger. Absently, he ran a hand through her hair, wondering if this was acceptable. She had always in the past been so strict about their contact, especially contact without purpose, casual contact they called it. It was very pleasant to be able to just touch her without any reason other than because it felt good. "Can we do this again some time?" he asked tentatively, hoping for an affirmative answer. The thought of being able to touch her like this again, just for the pleasure of it, was a beautiful one. Images from their joining, flashes of human matings, made him hope that they might one day share even more that this cuddling.

Mel opened her eyes and smiled up at him. "Which part?" she asked, laughing quietly.

"All of it." Cole smiled faintly. When he said 'all of it', he meant 'all of it and more'. He suspected that Mel knew it as well.

"Mmm..." Mel nodded lazily and closed her eyes again. "Yeah, I think that can be arranged, Cole."

"Can we do this... cuddling any time? Or do we have to mate first?" Her bare skin against his, her weight on top of him felt right, perfect, even beautiful.

Mel smiled. "Any time you want to, Cole."

He smiled and lightly patted her shoulder. "That's nice, Mel. I think our relationship is going to be much more fun now."

Mel grinned and gently kissed his chest, over his heart. Fun... He was right, though. They had started something very special, and exploring it further promised to be very interesting. And, she was sure, very rewarding as well. The other half of my soul... What a beautiful description of what they had become. Wrapped in his warmth, and lulled by the knowledge of how beautiful life could be, Mel fell asleep in his arms.

Cole smiled as her breathing slowed. He had always wanted to watch her sleep. Now he could spend an entire night doing so, an entire night holding her in his arms and studying every detail of her. Amazing. Noticing that her body temperature had dropped, he picked up a light blanket and draped it over her, careful not to wake her. As he did this, Mel stirred slightly, letting out a contented sigh and murmuring his name, but then drifted more deeply into sleep.

Cole sighed happily and held her close, absently petting her hair as he watched her sleep. Mel had asked if their relationship would remain as it had been before, and he had told her that the joining would only make him care more deeply for her. He had been more right than he could have imagined. Nothing was ever going to be the same for them again, a fact which brought him nothing but pleasure. Together, he knew, there was nothing that they would be unable to face. The threat from Zin and his fugitives seemed like a minor irritation, one that would never stand between them again.

"Taushi..." he whispered in the candlelight, smiling as he held his sleeping lover in his arms.

**The End**


End file.
